AKA: What the hell does an Honorary Consul do anyway?

Antigua, Guatemala is famous for its spectacular religious processions in the weeks leading up to Santa Semana (Easter). We were fortunate enough to be there for one of these, along with the many other local and international tourists it attracts. The spectacle also lures gangs of pick-pockets making the most of the riches on offer.

We positioned ourselves along one of the narrow colonial streets and waited. Soon we were captivated by the sea of purple robes that washed through. An image of Jesus weighed heavily on the shoulders of scores of devotees shuffling along to the sound of a sombre band. Incense filled the air and the crowd swelled. Bodies crushed together and we were somewhat relieved when the procession had finally passed.

It wasn’t long before I realised I had also been relieved of my wallet.

Getting a police report and organising replacement credit cards was relatively straight forward. However, getting my driver’s licence replaced was a different matter entirely.

I was informed in no uncertain terms by the RMS (my roads and licencing authority at home in Australia) that there was only one way to get a replacement: I was to print and complete an application form, take it to my nearest Embassy or Consulate with a passport photo and have them witness me signing the form and verify photocopies of my identification. Other than being a right pain in the neck, it seemed pretty straight forward.

Whilst there is no Australian Embassy in Guatemala, we learned there was a newly opened Australian Consulate offering limited services. A phone call verified that they could provide the service we required on the spot, just avoid the hours of 1pm and 3pm when the staff go to lunch. Sounds bloody right! We travelled to Guatemala City and made sure we got there early.

When we turned up, however, things weren’t so simple. We were informed that the consulate is headed by an Honorary Consul who did not have the authority to sign our documents (or to do much else, as far as we could tell) without the express written permission of the Australian Embassy in Mexico.

After much frustrating discussion (made worse by the greater-than-expected language barrier), many phone calls to Mexico and nearly three hours of waiting, we were bewildered to learn they were not going to help us at all.

This was a complete show stopper for us because:

1. Without a licence, I couldn’t legally drive.
2. If I couldn’t drive, I couldn’t leave the country. A condition of temporarily importing our motorbikes is that we can’t leave the country without them.
3. We only had a few weeks left on our Guatemalan visas. As it was, this was barely enough time to get a new licence sent to me before our visas expired. The only viable way to renew the visa is to leave and re-enter the country – see point 2 above.

Then the staff at the Australian Consulate offered a solution. They could send the papers to the embassy in Mexico for signing. What? Clearly they didn’t have a clue because I needed someone to witness me signing the document. Then they suggested that we go to Mexico ourselves and get it done. Aaaargh!! We tried to explain that if it wasn’t done here, now, and by them we would be stranded in Guatemala and become an even bigger problem for them, but they didn’t get it. Mentally I started measuring up the foyer to see if our tent would fit.

We left pretty appalled by their lack of care or understanding, but thankfully, we had another plan. Prior to the Australian Consulate opening, the Canadian Embassy in Guatemala provided consular services to Australians. It still said so on the Australian Government’s website! In a state of despair, we reasoned that if the Australian consulate couldn’t do this for us, than Canada must.

The Canadian Embassy, speaking in clear and fluent English, explained that since the Australian Consulate’s opening, their authority to provide any services to Australians had been revoked. What this means in real terms is that since the opening, Australians get fewer services, not more. Crazy!

Nonetheless, the Canadians were more than happy to assist as long as the Australian Consulate sent them an email request for the service to be provided to us. It was a generous and constructive offer of help, but realistically we knew it wasn’t going to happen. Feeling quite defeated we returned to Antigua wondering how we could immigrate to Canada. Those people are awesome.

Back in our hostel, I called the Australian Embassy in Mexico and was put through immediately to someone very senior. He already knew my story – he was the one who denied the service to us that morning at the Consulate office. He was sympathetic to my situation, but they were not lawyers and could not “certify” copies of my identification – simple as that. I told him that the RMS didn’t require a lawyer to certify my documents, they required an Ambassador, High Commissioner, Consul, Consul Agent etc, as stated on the application form (far from the first time I’d explained this today). He re-read the application form and admitted that perhaps he hadn’t read it carefully enough before. It’s a shame because a lot of time was spent writing a lengthy email instructing the Consulate office not to help us. Graciously, and without wasting any more time, he reversed his decision. Hallelujah! However, he suggested I contact the RMS to see if they would accept an “Honorary” Consul as a witness, as this job title was not expressly stated on the form.

I did this and instantly regretted it. The RMS said no. However, they would accept the Canadian Embassy as a witness. Gee thanks – what are we supposed to do now? Then the woman said….

“It might be easier for you if you just complete the online application.”

Huh? What!? Relief quickly overcame my anger at only being told this now. Sure enough, within a few minutes my new licence had been ordered online.

So, this experience has taught me quite a number of things. Chief among them are:

1. Don’t carry your wallet in your pocket. If you must carry it in your pocket, don’t put anything of value in it.
2. When you don’t get the answer you need, ask someone else.
3. It would appear the only thing an Australian Honorary Consul is authorised to do is have a two-hour lunch break.

Posted by Matt

Postscript: It wasn’t all bad – we had to wait in Antigua for a couple of weeks for the replacements to be sent and we got to witness three religious processions. Each week was more spectacular than the last. Here are a few photos. More are in our gallery.

Minutes before the pick-pocketing incident, the street filled with with a sea of purple robes. There was little room to move, an excellent cover for nimble fingers!

Decorative “alfombras” are created along the procession route.

Many are made using coloured sawdust….

….or flowers….

…or even beer bottle tops.

Other touches are added like carved fruit.

Everyone helped out to make them.

Who let the dog out?

Gathering for another procession.

The smell of incense was everywhere.

The lifespan of an alfombra is short. The procession shuffles over them on its way past.

The procession carried andas – platforms with religious images. They can weigh up to several tonnes. Groups take it in turns to carry them. The bearers are grouped according to their shoulder height so the platform stays level.

The women followed, carrying a smaller anda with an image of the Virgin Mary.

The wake – not much left to see here.